Let Go
by BizarreSerenity
Summary: Korra discovers that sometimes death isn't the end. Written for Amorra Week, Day two: Illusion. Amorra, AmonxKorra. Rated M for a reason.


"I did what I did to make sure non-benders and benders would be equal. Is that so wrong?"

He'd been haunting her for weeks, following her everywhere. From council meetings to her bedroom at night, Amon shadowed her, never more than a few feet away.

He'd been haunting her ever since the wreckage of a speed boat and two charred corpses had washed ashore, just a bunch of blackened, chewed up metal and wood.

Amon might have been dead, but his spirit was very much alive.

"Is it so wrong to want peace for this city?" He continued to coax, standing beside her bed.

He was the thing of nightmares, the physical boogyman in her closet, but where the physical body of Amon had been burned so badly that it was barely identifiable, his spirit was not.

"No, but it's wrong to watch me sleep at night, creep!" Korra snapped, rolling over and burying her face in her pillow. "Go away!"

She yanked her furs more snugly over her body to hide him from view, and groaned.

Ar first Korra thought she was going crazy.

The first time she had seen Amon's ghost was after she'd tucked Jinora and Ikki in so Pema could give Rohan a late night feeding without the kids getting underfoot, graciously offering to finish the usual bedtime ritual up.

Naga, who had started sleeping in the girl's room, had curled up on the floor between their beds, so when Korra finally reached her bedroom, she was alone.

At least she had been, until Amon had appeared.

And ever since then, he had never left.

Oh, he was courteous. He was not without manners.

He never watched her bathe or change; he seemed to disappear the moment she entered the bathroom with her shirt halfway over her head.

Dinners with her family (As rare as they were) were also off limits, as well as meditation with Tenzin.

But he was there when she slept, dreamed, fought, worked, and just _lived._

And she hated it.

She hated _him._

"I can't." He sai, and for once he managed to sound remorseful, as if he didn't want to haunt her. "You have to let me go."

Anger sparked like fire and embers in Korra's heart, and she sat up to glare at him.

"I let you go!" She hissed, clenching her fists. "Go! You're let go! I don't want you here!"

He looked forlorn, sort of sad. It was not an expression from him that she was used to.

When he was alive he sneered, scowled, had a pompous look when he was unmasked.

But now?

It seemed that none of his former 'charm' remained.

That night the icy, spectral sort of flow that clung to his skin was gone, which made it worse.

He just looked like an attractive man standing by her bed.

Just a man.

Her chest heaved as she struggled to breathe, her breaths becoming light and shallow. She would've screamed, cried, sobbed, but she'd promised herself long ago that she would never cry in front of an enemy.

She'd never cry in front of _HIM._

It was all too much.

Her vision grew hazy, blurred, and the image of Amon standing by her bed was growing faint.

_She_ was growing faint.

"Korra?"

It was the first time he had ever said her name, the first time.

She let exhaustion and the tugging, falling sensation overtake her, and fell backwards into her furs, and a world swimming in blue.

-X-X-X-X-

"Korra?"

It was cold, but comfortably so, like the afternoons in her home tribe.

If only she had her parka to keep her warm, but then again, the cold was comforting.

Familiar.

She peeled opened her eyes, feeling frost crackle and break on her eyelashes.

And she smiled.

"Aang!"

She felt the dizzying, serene rush that always hit her when she entered the spirit world, and felt all the wound up tension leave her body as Aang smiled his usual wise, calm smile.

"Hello, Korra."

He helped her up, grasping her forearms to help her up out of the snow.

There was an almost angel shaped imprint from here she had been laying, and she shook the snow from her tunic and pants, the soft cotton becoming soaked almost immediately.

Aang gallantly draped his cloak over her shoulders, and she grinned, her teeth chattering slightly.

"Thanks, Aang." She said gratefully, wrapping it tightly around her. "Do you know why I'm here? I wasn't meditating or anything."

He smiled, ever the calm one, and placed a heavy but comforting hand on her shoulder.

"You were upset and in need of guidance, so you were brought here."

The wind howled, and Korra watched as the sun rose, pink, yellow, and buttery over the mountains and glaciers.

"You know Amon's spirit is haunting me, right?"

Aang nodded.

"You need to let him go."

-X-X-X-X-

Aang had said the same thing, and Korra woke the next morning confused but oddly comforted by her wise past lives.

She slipped out of bed at dawn, not even bothering to remark at Amon's stance beside her bed. Instead she locked herself in the bathroom before he could even utter one syllable, and spent an hour taking a long, hot shower to get rid of the chill that had lingered in her bones.

He was still there when she emerged, dressed and ready for morning meditation, her hair damp but bound up in the traditional style she had worn all her life.

He followed her silently to breakfast, but instead of standing behind her he stood in a corner far away, his eyes still firmly trained on her.

It made her nervous.

X-X-X-X-

He didn't speak to her for days.

Korra found herself watching him. He was as solid as any man, completely and utterly real. She supposed he _was _real, just a spirit, but _real._

She hated him.

He'd taken her bending, blood bent her, terrorized the city. He tried to take everyone's bending away, and for all his speeches about Equality, it seemed as if all he wanted to do was rule them. He was a cruel man, his eyes like chips of ice beneath the slits of his mask.

She remembered the way she felt cold inside when she first saw him unmasked, saw the hate filled burns drawn across his face.

And after, when they were fake, she still felt cold.

Was there any truth in him?

She thought she would never know.

Until now.

X-X-X-X-

"Why did you lie?"

It was a question that had sank its claws into her the moment they found the wreckage, no, the moment she saw him, unscarred, rising from the water on a funnel much like the ones she bent herself.

Korra sat cross legged on her bed, fists pressed together in the usual meditation stance. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was deep.

Her question was calm.

Cold, almost.

Before, holding the stance was difficult. Korra had no idea that just sitting and pressing her fists together would make her arms ache and become heavy, like led weights. Not to mention the way her legs went numb after a few hours, but that was nothing a little water and some healing couldn't fix.

It had taken her months to get it just right, to adjust, and now it was as simple as breathing.

It was natural.

"I believed that I had no other choice."

Korra hadn't expected him to reply. She thought that he'd remain a silent ghost forever, just following her around, drifting.

"Why?"

Her next question was sharper, coated in leftover anger. There was a choice, Master Katara had said in her early lessons. There was always a choice, always. There was always another option, another solution.

She expected a man almost twice her age would realize that.

"If I had let my parentage be known, there would have been no way for me to bring Equality to Republic City." His voice had grown softer, lower, nearly hesitant. "It was my goal to make it so that no one would ever be treated as I was, forced to become something simply because they were born into it. I wanted power such as mine to never be abused again."

Korra didn't look at him.

She breathed.

The silence hung between them, heavy, like her bed furs in summertime.

"But you abused it yourself." She said, falling deep into the calm, weightless feeling that she so craved. "And betrayed your entire cause in doing so."

His answer was whispered.

Broken.

"Yes."

A twinge of sadness like the sharp prick of sharpened ice tore at her for a moment before she flushed it out.

She hated him.

She _hated_ him.

-X-X-X-X-

Days passed by, and Korra began to grow used to Amon's spirit hanging around her all of the time.

Sometimes, though she hated to admit it, he was a comforting sight when she woke in the middle of the night from screaming, horrifying nightmares. Freakish beasts made from shadow stalked her dreams, and, of course, as it had always been since the war, visions of Amon's mask and his cold eyes beneath it, the sneer, the press of his thumb on her forehead.

The cold, emptiness when he took her bending away.

But he was there, never moving but never waiting, standing beside her bed.

Although it made her sick to think about it later she took comfort from the sight of him there, solid and _real_, a nightmare turned spirit.

A nightmare that could never hurt her again.

-X-X-X-X-

Slowly, ever so slowly, Korra found that hating Amon was starting to get harder and harder with each passing day.

X-X-X-X-

The Red Monsoons didn't disband even after Tarrlok and Amon had been found dead, and the evening found Korra with Mako, now an officer in Chief Bei Fong's personal force, rushing yet another hideout.

She _felt_ the bloodbenders inside with the pulse of the full moon, and the hair at her neck and arms prickled, even as she braced herself and gathered embers in her hands.

She felt the heat in the air as Mako ignited his own flames, little licks of fire glowing in his cupped hands as they approached the side door.

The officers gathered in the correct positions as Korra and Mako stood before the door, at the ready.

Amon was at Korra's side, invisible to everyone but her, eyes shining like silver coins.

Chief Bei Fong nodded, and Korra and Mako let loose an inferno that roared like an angry dragon, streams of controlled fire, blasting the door down flat. Smoke hung heavily in the air as they charged in, the clamor of metal benders joining the screams and curses of gang members.

This, Korra knew, is what she lived for.

X-X-X-X-

"Don't you ever miss it?"

She was bruised, tired, still smudged with soot from the rush, but unable to settle down with the moon high in the sky. She had always been restless at full moon; usually, one of the waterbending White Lotus Guards would spar with her, but she wasn't in the mood for fighting.

The cool, silvery light felt like flowing water on her skin, energy, light.

She would not be able to sleep.

Amon stood well out of her way, by the window, bathed in the light. It gave his dark skin a silvery cast, made his eyes become living ice.

He didn't answer her.

Korra walked over and stood at the window with him, never touching, but there, close.

She gazed out at the moon, which hung suspended in the cloudless, starry sky like a round, silver coin.

"Can you feel it?"

She tried again, wanting so _badly_ to know if he understood, if he still felt the calling of the moon even though he did not have blood that sang with it, or a heart that raced because of it.

How had he dealt with it, all those years posing as a non-bender?

How long had he ignored the call of the moon?

"Sometimes I think I can."

She felt sorry for him.

She felt _sorry_ for _Amon._

Korra thought she should start hating herself instead.

-X-X-X-X-

"Amon!"

Ripped from a land of shadow and screaming beasts made of rotting flesh and bone, the cry tore from her like a living, breathing thing.

There were hands on her shoulders, warm and strong, and she struggled to breathe.

She pulled in mouthfuls of air, shivering, gasping like a fish out of water as she felt herself be hauled up into a sitting position. Her skin was cold and sticky with fear sweat, and she let out a long, drawn out groan as the vivid image of the decaying monsters flashed through her again, of dagger like teeth and voices like the dead.

She opened her eyes, expecting to see herself before the beasts, half devoured.

But there was Amon, crouched before her in bed, hands heavy and utterly _real_, clamped hard onto her shoulders to keep her upright.

Somehow, her hazy mind managed to point out the ghosts were _transparent. _They couldn't _touch, _couldn't _feel._

But Amon's hands felt like any man's would on her bare shoulders: warm and solid.

Although no other man but Amon would dare to keep her there, to touch her without permission.

To hold her, Avatar Korra, in place.

"Korra." He whispered, his voice rich, deep, but terrible all the same. "It was just a nightmare. Just another illusion."

It was at that very moment that Korra came to a stunning, terrifying realization that had never crossed her mind before.

As the Spirit of her greatest enemy crushed her against his chest and let her sob, Avatar Korra realized that she didn't hate Amon.

She just hated all the things he had _done._

-X-X-X-X-

His lips were like fire on hers, and she moaned into his mouth as he entered her in one smooth, strong thrust, his skin like warm silk against hers.

The feeling was indescribable; the way she fit against him so perfectly, the moans she coaxed from him when it was _her _turn to be in control, the callouses on his palms and the silky feel of his hair wound in her hands.

She knew she wasn't dreaming because her sheets were always soiled in the morning. She knew that there was no way it was all just an illusion, not after the first time she gave herself to him and felt the pain of it the next day during training.

And she knew, above all other things, that she loved him.

And she had to set him free.

-X-X-X-X-

The realization was a sobering and a depressing one, but Korra knew it needed to be done.

As much as it hurt, ripped at her though she knew it was true, Amon belonged in the spirit world. She was sure he would wait for her there when it was her time to go.

Korra knee she would love no one else but him.

And yet she didn't have to say any of those things, no, Amon knew them, she could see it in his eyes.

She would never forget them.

And as she closed her eyes, tucked against his naked chest after a night of lovemaking, Korra knew what she needed to do.

The next day, she would let him go.

-X-X-X-X-

Fin.


End file.
